A story about one slave's three-year banishment from Mistress Troy's world.
- submitted by slave s, 2002 -
(with epilogue written by Mistress Troy)
The following is a true account of my relationship with Mistress Troy and my three year banishment from seeing and serving Her after i displeased Her. i write this story as a warning to others who wish to continuously serve Mistress Troy without interruption. i suffered greatly during my years of banishment and i wish never to be banished again. i hope that all slaves who serve Mistress Troy can learn from my experiences so they are not subjected to the lengthy absence and loneliness i have just endured.
November 7, 1996, at 9 PM. This date and time will be etched into my mind for eternity for this is the exact date and time i first met Mistress Troy. i had been sessioning with other Mistresses in New York for some time when visiting the City and none of them seemed to capture my imagination. i continued to search for the ultimate Mistress until one day i decided to answer an add in DDI titled "Troy" New York City. Mistress looked so lovely in Her picture sitting upon a stool with Her blonde hair cascading behind the rim of Her leather military hat. my submissive instincts told me that this is the Mistress i needed to serve.
Our first meeting went very well. Mistress bound and whipped me. i was in immediate sub-space and endured whatever treatment She prescribed. After our meeting we spent some time discussing next steps. i was so eager to continue on seeing Mistress Troy i did something i had never done with any Mistress after a first meeting; i requested an opportunity to offer on-going servitude and explained my sincere desire to be assigned future instructions and tasks. i was mesmerized by Her and felt very honored that She at least listened to me and seemed to want to continue on.
i returned back to Boston where i live and the next day i checked my voice-mail. i had received a message from Mistress Troy with some small first-step instructions. From this point on, in the late fall of 1996 into 1997, our professional BDSM relationship seemed to flourish. i began to crave and thrive on Mistress Troy’s attention and as time went on, i was granted more complicated assignments. Within a year or so, instructions came in from my Mistress on a weekly basis. i was assigned tasks designed to help make Mistress Troy’s everyday life easier. i ran errands, cleaned for Her, painted for Her, shopped with Her, wrote for Her, conducted market analysis, arranged and paid for periodic incidentals, i was responsible for some of Her beauty maintenance costs, some transportation costs and purchased Her many lovely pieces of leather attire, jewelry and toys for Her dungeon and everyday life. i became what i would classify as a distant but somewhat privileged and recognized slave of Mistress Troy’s.
Our relationship had ups and downs but i have to admit, the downs were always instigated and further complicated by me. As you may know, Mistress Troy is a very effective communicator. She is clear, concise and manages expectations very well. i was the person at fault who read too far into our relationship, looked at it beyond Mistress and slave, and conjured up all sorts of unrealistic expectations and “what if” scenarios. To be blunt, i trashed the most wonderful Mistress/slave relationship i, or anyone else, could ever hope to engage in with a Professional Mistress as wonderful as Mistress Troy. So, at the end of almost three years of serving Mistress Troy, during a session almost exactly three years ago today, i had the nerve and audacity to tell Mistress Troy to stop whipping me while in session. The session immediately came to a halt. Mistress was willing to listen to me to try and determine what was wrong, however my emotions were too complicated to clearly relay. Mistress Troy then suggested that i take a break for six months and not to contact Her until precisely six months had elapsed.
i left New York and returned to Boston where, at first, i had a euphoric feeling of freedom and a relief like weight being lifted off of my shoulders. There would be no more tedious maintenance of masturbation schedules, i could wear real men’s underwear again, i did not have to call and check in each weekday, i did not have to give myself enemas, i would not have to hide my marks and i could take the required plug out of my ass. i was truly relieved, from this point forward i could do whatever i wanted and could see any Mistress i chose.
This feeling lasted for about a week and then i fell into deep despair. i was kidding myself and i missed Mistress Troy immensely. my longing for Her began to show in my everyday life. i have a happy-go-lucky attitude; i’m usually cheery, optimistic, confident and sure, but now i was unsure, moping and gloomy. i did not know what to do with my new found freedom and immediately became very lost within. This is when i made my first mistake. Rather than wait until six months elapsed, as i was instructed, i e-mailed Mistress Troy with a poorly orchestrated explanation. i remember the next day checking my e-mail to see a message from Mistress Troy. i quickly opened the message to read, “Go buy a calendar.” my heart sank and i sat in my office and silently cried. It would now be at least six months before i could see my Mistress again. i accepted the fact that Mistress Troy did not care to see me and i tried my best to deal with the circumstances. Then one Saturday a month later, i made my second mistake and again i did not follow through on Mistress Troy’s instructions. i was very lonely for Her and just completed masturbating before one of Her pictures in DDI. i then decided to call and listen to Her voice-mail message just to hear Her voice. No one picked up but in my haste i realized my phone number was not blocked and that She had Caller ID.
Months went on and i tried to set aside my yearnings and cravings to see Mistress Troy. i did everything like seeing other Mistresses and taking a 35 day mountaineering trek to the Himalayas and the Royal Kingdom of Nepal. On Valentines Day, i managed to displease Mistress Troy once again and violate Her instructions by sending Her a Valentine’s Day wish via e-mail from a cyber café in Katmandu. This happened to be one month before i was to contact Her again after my six month break.
On March 21, 2000, my break was to be completed and i could freely contact my Mistress, so i thought. i purchased Her a box of gifts and had a leather whipping implement carrying case custom made for Her and sent it all along with a note of apology begging for forgiveness and asking to come back. One and a half weeks later i received an e-mail from Mistress Troy. i remember seeing it in my in-box. i was so excited and hoped it contained instructions and a desire from my Mistress to continue on. Instead, it informed me that i had not followed Her instructions and that i had displeased Mistress Troy time and time again and She wished never to be contacted by me ever again. The message ended with a gracious comment wishing me well in life and with all future endeavors. i cried, but this time the crying went on for months; usually alone, when i was falling asleep or during long drives up to Vermont or when i was stuck in traffic or staying at a hotel room alone while on the road.
i tried to come to grips with the situation and the turn of events that lead to my life-long banishment from my wonderful Mistress. i went on a world-wide quest to once again meet the ultimate Mistress. i was lonely and although i had wonderful BDSM experiences with great Mistresses from coast to coast and in Europe, none of them fulfilled my cravings to serve like Mistress Troy. After about two years of searching and yearning to see Mistress Troy, i sent Her an e-mail message once again begging to come back. i offered Her references i had collected from some wonderful, well-known Mistresses from the West Coast. i detailed all of the activities i had engaged in noting all of the Mistresses i had seen. Mistress Troy seemed receptive but very cautious with me. Slowly, after about a year of being very patient and trading short but very polite and well thought out messages, Mistress Troy offered me the opportunity to come back for one session. She required that i send Her a comprehensive essay explaining why i had been banished from seeing Her for almost three years. i finally seemed to hit the nail right on the head when explaining my thoughts and my understanding of the situation.
i am now back seeing Mistress Troy as an unprivileged and now much more distant slave and submissive client. All that i had worked for in the past has been lost and i am scrambling once again to prove myself. i am on very thin ice and we are proceeding very cautiously. Mistress Troy makes me very happy and i feel that i have the time and determination to once again prove to Her that i can be a loyal, compliant, competent slave that adds value and entertainment to Her life. All of the privileges that i once had have been taken away, i am not allowed to speak in Her presence and i must follow all and every one of Her commands immediately and precisely. i suspect that our sessions will quickly intensify and that my body will be marked time and time again. We have discussed limits and Mistress Troy knows my likes and dislikes. However, i know if i am asked, i will do anything to please Mistress Troy regardless of how cruel, demeaning, humiliating or painful the activity or act is.
my advice to all slaves reading this story who do not want to displease and be banished by Mistress Troy is:
- Always keep on the top of your mind that seeing and serving Mistress Troy is a true honor and privilege never to be taken for granted.
- Follow all of Mistress Troy’s commands precisely and as quickly as possible.
- Always strive to do Your best when following through on Her commands.
- Do not look beyond the parameters of your relationship with Mistress Troy, enjoy the relationship as it is and do not conjure up false and unrealistic expectations.
- Communicate clearly with Mistress keeping Her aware of Your thoughts and feelings especially if you feel that they may multiply and adversely affect your long-term servitude to Her.
- Realize that You are expendable; Mistress Troy can easily fill the gaps in Her harem with others knocking on Her door with a world of legitimate offers for servitude.
- Treat Mistress Troy with the utmost respect and always be thankful for the time and consideration She offers to you.
Written by Mistress Troy
This month marks 17 years since I first met slave s. As described in his narrative above, slave s was granted a second chance. His sincerity and eagerness to submit and please was exceptional and My hopes were high that our Dominant/submissive relationship would thrive. Despite the many common interests we shared within the realm of BDSM and far beyond, an ongoing relationship was not to be. After his return to My service, we struggled for a few years to attain a harmonious groove; however, we were ultimately unable to achieve a satisfying synchronicity based around our individual desires, needs and expectations.
I have not seen slave s in person for the past four years. We have had the occasional e-mail exchange and when last we spoke, slave s had found a new Mistress to serve and sounded content in his service and in life in general.